Peer Review for Veronica Funess

Peer review is extremely helpful. I get to see how others are using their genres uniquely and also get to see how other people decided to do the project.

Audience Question: How did you practice your editorial skills this week in peer review?

I practiced my editorial skills on my own genre first so I could maybe help others working in my same genre to edit their projects.

Author Response:

I thought you content outline was really good and very detailed! It gave me a good understanding of your project and your main points. My first thought when I opened your outline was woah this is so detailed this must have taken so long and then I saw you talked about how you much time you take on your first drafts of your project ahah. Having this detail early on was probably extremely helpful during your writing process. I like how you have all 3 projects set up to show the successes and struggles of them because of your writing habits. I'm excited to view your final project!

Perform the activity and then write a concise but detailed blog post that includes:

• The name of the title and author for the project you reviewed: Veronica Funess Video Reflection Project
• A working hyperlink to the project you reviewed
• An explanation of the peer review activity you selected for the project you reviewed: Outlining suggestion. How the detail will be helpful during the writing process
• An explanation of how you think you helped the author with your feedback (in other words, how did you help them make their work better?) : I let her know I liked the content and to keep going in that direction.
• An explanation of how you incorporated something from the suggested Student’s Guide readings (or any other course materials, if you’d prefer) into your feedback: Being detailed in your writing process is something I learned this semester. I think this is a very good skill Veronica has. If she worries about spending too much time on rough drafts and outlines maybe remain just detailed but do less editing and revisiing until the final cut.
• One thing about their work that you admired or think you could learn from: Being detailed and concise for my outline I think is very helpful. It gives me a full understanding of what my argument is and allows me to make changes as I look at it as a whole

Editorial Reports Final Project

I didn't want to change any of my audio, but i knew I needed to make everything more smooth.

Audience Questions

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

After Emily reviewed my rough cut, I fixed the music and volume of a lot of my audio. I also added footage at the end so it wasn't such an abrupt ending.

1. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

I think the re-edited version is smoother and less awkward than the rough cut.

Author Response

Make a short selection from the “Rough Cut” of your project. If it’s text-based, limit the selection to a page or less of content. It it’s audio or video-based, limit the selection to two minutes or less. Create a working hyperlink to the selection, or copy ‘n paste it into the blog post (whatever works best for you).

9a. Rough Cut:  (Second main section) 2:57-3:41 Here

Revisions:  2:55-3:41 Here

9b. Rough Cut: (Conclusion) 4:55-5:56 Here

Revisions: 4:54-6:04 Here

Editorial Report

I didn't change really anything in my paragraphs I just reviewed it for grammatical or spelling errors

12a. Intro:

The fight for women’s rights has been an ongoing struggle for centuries and will continue to proceed for many more years. There has been a deficiency in gender equality in many areas big or small. Recently, an especially prevalent issue has been the gender pay gap.  The gender pay gap the average difference between men and women in the work place.  The average woman only earns 79% of what the average man’s yearly salary. Women in the work force have made tremendous strides over the past century; however, there are still significant differences between the payment of men and women in the work force. It’s clear that women’s rights have notably increased since the early mid 1900’s and even in recent years, but the gender pay gap continues to be a considerable form of discrimination towards working women. Gender should not be a contributing factor into a person’s salary. If a woman is producing work that is equivalent to a man under the same employer, the gender of the employee should not lessen that woman’s payment.    

Revisions: 

The fight for women’s rights has been an ongoing struggle for centuries and will continue to proceed for many more years. There has been a deficiency in gender equality in many areas, big or small. Recently, an especially prevalent issue has been the gender pay gap. This gender pay gap is the average difference in salary between men and women in the work place.  The average woman only earns 79% of what the average man’s yearly salary (Catherine Hill, 2016). Women in the work force have made tremendous strides over the past century; however, there are still significant differences between the payment of men and women in the work force. It’s clear that women’s rights have notably increased since the early mid 1900’s and even in recent years, but the gender pay gap continues to be a considerable form of discrimination towards working women. Gender should not be a contributing factor into a person’s salary. If a woman is producing work that is equivalent to a man under the same employer, the gender of the employee should not lessen that person’s payment. 

13b.

Body paragraph:

An important concept in the American market is supply and demand. The more a job is demanded the more a person will get paid.  The past women’s World Cup game was the most viewed soccer game in history (Block, 2016).  The US women’s soccer team is more heavily demanded than the men’s team. When I was a senior in high school, two of my guy friends were talking about how it was absurd that a woman tennis player gets paid as much as a male tennis player.  Their reasoning was that men player longer matches and work harder; therefore, their salary should be higher.  This reasoning disregards the fact that in 2013 and 2014 the women’s US open final had more viewers and produced more revenue than the men’s US open final match (Close, 2016).  My friend’s believed that because male tennis players run more during a match and apparently work harder than the women’s tennis players.  Even if the statement that male tennis players work harder than female were true, my friends lacked an understanding of the demand of popular women’s sports like tennis.  Players like Serena and Venus Williams are very popular athletes.  These are arguably the most well-known tennis players.  Women’s sports like tennis and soccer both are in high demand and create a lot of revenue.  In turn, the salaries for each should reflect this demand as it does for men’s sports.

Revisions:

An important concept in the American market is supply and demand. The greater the demand of a job, the more a person will get paid.  This past women’s World Cup game was the most viewed soccer game in history (Block, 2016).  The US women’s soccer team shows a higher demand than the men’s team. When I was a senior in high school, two of my guy friends were talking about how it was absurd that a woman tennis player gets paid as much as a male tennis player.  Their reasoning was that men player longer matches and work harder; therefore, their salary should be higher.  This reasoning disregards the fact that in 2013 and 2014 the women’s US open final had more viewers and produced more revenue than the men’s US open final match (Close, 2016).  My friend’s believed that because male tennis players run more during a match and apparently work harder than the women’s tennis players.  Even if the statement that male tennis players work harder than female were true, my friends lacked an understanding of the demand of popular women’s sports like tennis.  Players like Serena and Venus Williams are very popular athletes.  These are arguably the most well-known tennis players.  Women’s sports like tennis and soccer both are in high demand and create a lot of revenue.  In turn, the salaries for each should reflect this demand as it does for men’s sports.