Editorial Report

I didn't change really anything in my paragraphs I just reviewed it for grammatical or spelling errors

12a. Intro:

The fight for women’s rights has been an ongoing struggle for centuries and will continue to proceed for many more years. There has been a deficiency in gender equality in many areas big or small. Recently, an especially prevalent issue has been the gender pay gap.  The gender pay gap the average difference between men and women in the work place.  The average woman only earns 79% of what the average man’s yearly salary. Women in the work force have made tremendous strides over the past century; however, there are still significant differences between the payment of men and women in the work force. It’s clear that women’s rights have notably increased since the early mid 1900’s and even in recent years, but the gender pay gap continues to be a considerable form of discrimination towards working women. Gender should not be a contributing factor into a person’s salary. If a woman is producing work that is equivalent to a man under the same employer, the gender of the employee should not lessen that woman’s payment.    

Revisions: 

The fight for women’s rights has been an ongoing struggle for centuries and will continue to proceed for many more years. There has been a deficiency in gender equality in many areas, big or small. Recently, an especially prevalent issue has been the gender pay gap. This gender pay gap is the average difference in salary between men and women in the work place.  The average woman only earns 79% of what the average man’s yearly salary (Catherine Hill, 2016). Women in the work force have made tremendous strides over the past century; however, there are still significant differences between the payment of men and women in the work force. It’s clear that women’s rights have notably increased since the early mid 1900’s and even in recent years, but the gender pay gap continues to be a considerable form of discrimination towards working women. Gender should not be a contributing factor into a person’s salary. If a woman is producing work that is equivalent to a man under the same employer, the gender of the employee should not lessen that person’s payment. 

13b.

Body paragraph:

An important concept in the American market is supply and demand. The more a job is demanded the more a person will get paid.  The past women’s World Cup game was the most viewed soccer game in history (Block, 2016).  The US women’s soccer team is more heavily demanded than the men’s team. When I was a senior in high school, two of my guy friends were talking about how it was absurd that a woman tennis player gets paid as much as a male tennis player.  Their reasoning was that men player longer matches and work harder; therefore, their salary should be higher.  This reasoning disregards the fact that in 2013 and 2014 the women’s US open final had more viewers and produced more revenue than the men’s US open final match (Close, 2016).  My friend’s believed that because male tennis players run more during a match and apparently work harder than the women’s tennis players.  Even if the statement that male tennis players work harder than female were true, my friends lacked an understanding of the demand of popular women’s sports like tennis.  Players like Serena and Venus Williams are very popular athletes.  These are arguably the most well-known tennis players.  Women’s sports like tennis and soccer both are in high demand and create a lot of revenue.  In turn, the salaries for each should reflect this demand as it does for men’s sports.

Revisions:

An important concept in the American market is supply and demand. The greater the demand of a job, the more a person will get paid.  This past women’s World Cup game was the most viewed soccer game in history (Block, 2016).  The US women’s soccer team shows a higher demand than the men’s team. When I was a senior in high school, two of my guy friends were talking about how it was absurd that a woman tennis player gets paid as much as a male tennis player.  Their reasoning was that men player longer matches and work harder; therefore, their salary should be higher.  This reasoning disregards the fact that in 2013 and 2014 the women’s US open final had more viewers and produced more revenue than the men’s US open final match (Close, 2016).  My friend’s believed that because male tennis players run more during a match and apparently work harder than the women’s tennis players.  Even if the statement that male tennis players work harder than female were true, my friends lacked an understanding of the demand of popular women’s sports like tennis.  Players like Serena and Venus Williams are very popular athletes.  These are arguably the most well-known tennis players.  Women’s sports like tennis and soccer both are in high demand and create a lot of revenue.  In turn, the salaries for each should reflect this demand as it does for men’s sports.